


throughout all of time, I am yours

by BigBadWolfe



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017), The Worst Witch - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Making Out, This was honestly supposed to be another kiss drabble that turned into a somewhat angsty fic, so there's many different genres in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 20:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12943677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigBadWolfe/pseuds/BigBadWolfe
Summary: On days like today, when everything had been so unsure and ripe for change, Ada needed the reminder of Hecate’s promise; wanted to feel it against her skin as though somehow she could see herself like Hecate did. Maybe then she would stop feeling like she was trembling between two different versions of herself.





	throughout all of time, I am yours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cassiopeiasara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopeiasara/gifts).



> This was honestly supposed to be a simple kiss prompt (and then there's tongue) for the lovely cassiopeiasara, but then it turned into a whole fic of how both Hecate and Ada felt after "The Mists of Time". And it got angsty and it's a mess but ta da!

Ada felt the weight of the day in each of her aching muscles, the tension having drawn her body taut; shoulders aching and knees much the same. Her days of running at frantic speeds without repercussion were long gone, locked back in the decade she had only just escaped from, left with a young girl who had avoided careening down a path she wasn’t destined to take. 

Wincing as she shifted, refusing to move from the window until she knew the Mists of Time had gone, Ada instead removed a small scroll from her pocket. It was laughable to think that something so small, so unassuming, had the power to strip her of all that she had worked for. She dreaded to think what would happen if it fell into Agatha’s grasp, could only imagine the havoc she would wreak with her misplaced passions; the authority she would wield corrupting her further until the very worst of her was dragged out.

As she looked at it, the flimsy parchment that bent so easily between her finger and thumb, Ada was struck with a sudden intense hatred; a hatred for the lie that she’d believed for so long, for the way that her life as she knew it could be justifiably dismantled within the laws of the Witches Code. Consumed as she was, she hardly registered the snap of her fingers until she held a flickering flame in the palm of her hand. For a blistering moment, as it all festered in her chest, all she could think of was burning it; for secrets could not be proved from ash alone. But before she could move she caught sight of her herself in the reflection of the window, dusk having already drawn in, and stopped. There, captured in stark fire light, she looked more like her sister than she ever had; cold and vindictive, drawn sharp by a rage that burned beneath her skin. In that moment she saw the ghost of the woman she could have become, a life born from the white hot embers of anger. Closing her eyes and twisting her head away, Ada snuffed out the flame. She swallowed back the tirade of emotion that swept over her, a mantra running through her head over and over as she calmed herself. That is not who I am. 

Opening her eyes once more, she cast her gaze back out of the window, past the ghostly reflection of herself and instead looked upon the Mists. To her relief they were rolling away, the very last of its tendrils disappearing into the dusk drawn shadows of the trees.

“Until next time,” she murmured as she took one last look out of the window before crossing to her desk. 

The scroll still clasped in the vice of her fingers, Ada took her keepsake box from the bottom drawer of her desk. It was an old biscuit tin, intricate in its making and old enough that she felt young once more when she held it. Prying it open, she looked down fondly at her collection of keepsakes, each one imbued with a memory she held dear to her heart: her father’s watch, her graduation scroll, the beautiful golden promise band Hecate had given to her so many years ago. She bristled with how wrong it felt to tarnish her cherished possessions with an object that held the potential for heartbreak, an object that not moments ago had almost twisted her into something she was not. She felt guilty, even as she placed the scroll in the loop of her father’s watch, as though she was committing an act of sacrilege to every happy memory she’d ever had. 

Just as she went to close the lid once more, she stopped to snatch out the promise ring from amidst her other sentimental treasures. She couldn’t bear the thought of something that held so much shared meaning between her and Hecate, of promises and love and unending respect, being touched by the darkness of half a centuries worth of lies. Instead of slipping it on her finger as she wished she could, she laced the ring through the necklace she wore and let it slip back beneath the collar of her jumper to settle just above her breasts. On days like today, when everything had been so unsure and ripe for change, Ada needed the reminder of Hecate’s promise; wanted to feel it against her skin as though somehow she could see herself like Hecate did. Maybe then she would stop feeling like she was trembling between two different versions of herself. 

Struck by the quietness of her office, with only the steady tick of the clock to counterpoint the stillness, a sound that served only to unsettle her further, Ada suddenly couldn’t bear being alone. She felt off kilter, as though caught between two realities, and all she could think of, all she truly wanted, was Hecate. She was quite sure that just being in her presence would steady her once more, would set her back in sync. With the girls having already finished dinner an hour ago, now settling into their rooms for the night, she felt sure that she could steal a moment with Hecate before their nightly rounds. 

Without hesitation Ada splayed her hand and transferred away to the first place she thought Hecate would be, the only place she knew that Hecate was capable of losing track of time. After a day like today she was certain that Hecate would want to find her equilibrium once more in the self-made order of her potion supplies. 

Ada huffed a sigh of welcome relief when she found the potions supply cupboard open with Hecate inside, back towards her, seemingly replenishing ingredients for the first years. 

“Hecate,” she said gently, relaxing just at the sight of her. But it seemed her presence had the opposite effect on the other woman, for at the sound of her voice Hecate’s shoulders immediately rose, her hand hovering over a collection of jars for a moment as though she had just been caught. Ada’s face creased in concern. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Hecate snapped without looking around, body jerking back to what she had been doing as though nothing had happened. She kept rummaging in the supply cupboard for what Ada assumed were beetle wings, what with the empty classroom jar standing on the wooden work bench behind her. 

It stung to be on the receiving end of Hecate’s knife sharp façade, one she usually reserved for anyone else who wasn’t her. Confused at the sudden turn around, Ada tried to figure out what had happened in the scant hours since she had last seen her. She still had Hecate’s face clear in her mind from earlier that day, her relief evident in the sudden glittering of her eyes, the slackening of her jaw. She knew Hecate better than she knew anyone else, read her silences as easily as the pages of a book, took the brunt of her tirades with the knowledge that they would break into stress induced tears. Hecate, for all her bluster and hard edged disciplinarian act, was sweetly open to her, all but overflowing with emotion. But this, cold and defensive and unwilling to engage, was not something she was accustomed to – not anymore. 

“You don’t look fine,” Ada said evenly, steadfastly refusing to allow her voice to wobble despite being caught off guard by Hecate’s behaviour. 

Ada felt herself wavering, caught between wanting to take Hecate in her arms and giving her the space that she so evidently wanted. So she watched her instead, looking for any chink in her armour, but all she could see was the stiffness of her shoulders and the slight tremble of her hands, that only had her wanting to wrap Hecate up in her arms even more. 

Consumed as she was in watching Hecate, Ada jumped, startled when she placed a jar down heavily, fingers pressed tight against it, glass lid rattling with the force. 

Hecate glanced up at her, and in the scant seconds their eyes met, Ada was struck silent by what she saw. For Hecate, try as she might, could not guard her eyes as steadfastly as she did her body. Where Ada had expected to find anger, dark and fearsome in its intensity, she instead found a profound hurt that she couldn’t quite comprehend and that Hecate seemingly wouldn’t let her see. 

“Then you should stop looking,” Hecate said curtly, before turning away once more.

“Never,” Ada said immediately, not allowing even a breath between Hecate’s words and her own resolute answer. Ada paused for a heartbeat before moving forward, reaching for Hecate, and stopping just short of touching her. Her hand hovered just by the small of her back and she could practically feel the tension radiating from her. “Please, my love. Tell me what troubles you so”. 

“It’s nothing,” Hecate sniffed as she stepped away from her, eyes trained on the floor. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do”. 

“Hecate - “

But before she could say another word, Hecate transferred away. 

...  


Ada didn’t have long to deliberate on Hecate’s clear upset, which she was glad of as it felt as though her insides were twisting into such knots that they’d never come undone, for no sooner had she stepped back into her office after finishing her nightly rounds, Hecate appeared in front of her. They stood facing one another in silence, but Ada could see the anxiety that was consuming Hecate in the twitch of her fingers at her sides, knew that she had a thousand and one things to say and didn’t know how to begin. 

Breathing deeply, Hecate waved her hand so that the office door shut and bolted itself and Ada chose to read that as a good sign; that Hecate didn’t want interruptions to whatever emotional display that was about to be brought forth . 

Her hand went to reach for Ada, but stopped halfway as though unsure she would be accepted. As always, Hecate’s innate fear that she would be sent away broke something in Ada that she was sure would never quite be fixed again. Taking Hecate’s hands in both of hers, she stepped closer to her, made sure their eyes met so that Hecate could see for herself that she was there willingly, wanting only to listen and to love her. 

“Hecate, I won’t push you for answers, you know that,” she stroked her thumb over the rigid tendons of Hecate’s hand. “But I can see you’re hurting, no matter how hard you try to disguise it. If you tell me why then I can help, we can –“

“You really don’t know?” Hecate said incredulously, voice pitched low and breathy as she unwound their fingers and snatched her hand away. Her dark eyes grew clouded and Ada felt helpless, struck by the intensity of Hecate’s emotions as sharply as if they were hers. 

“I wouldn’t be asking otherwise,” she said softly.

Hecate’s hands balled to fists and Ada knew that her nails would be biting crescents into her palm, a gesture that suggested anger but that was in fact fear – for Hecate went on the defensive when she was scared. Ada wanted to wrap her up, wanted to take away the hurt that seemed so apparently her fault, but knew she would only make it worse. Pushing Hecate in any direction that she didn’t want to go in only ended up with her moving farther away.

“The entirety of your history was nearly rewritten, Ada,” Hecate said slowly, and Ada watched the muscle of her jaw jump as Hecate ground her teeth together. “All because of Mildred Hubble”. 

“But it wasn’t. Apart from Mildred and Ethel appearing in my class photo, there’s not a hair out of place”. She tried to smile but it felt wrong when she could so clearly see the tears gathering in Hecate’s eyes.

“But there could have been!” The crescendo that Ada had expected to make an appearance reared its head impressively, if not a little sooner than she had thought, as Hecate’s voice broke. “Do you not see that this girl is a danger, not only to the school, but to you?”

“Now Hecate that’s going a little far wouldn’t you say? She’s hardly a threat –“

“I’m not saying she’s evil incarnate, Ada!” Her hands flew up in frustration. “I’m saying that her foolhardiness, the brash nature of everything she does, places you in the way of the repercussions. Whenever she causes trouble it is you who is tasked with picking up the pieces, even if it poses a threat to you”.

“That’s what being headmistress entails, my dear,” she soothed her, taking another step forward until they were nearly within touching distance. She was glad when Hecate didn’t move away, instead lowered her gaze slightly so that their eyes met once more. 

“In the last decade, when have you had to go back in time to rescue a student? When have you been turned into a mollusc?” Hecate shuddered at the memory. “Ever since Mildred Hubble arrived she has brought with her the chaos of the nine circles of hell –“

“Which is surely why we allow her to stay here. Nurture her. Teach her how to harness her magic and control it?”

Hecate pressed a hand to her forehead for a moment before rubbing it tiredly down her face. 

“We can help her with her magical abilities, Ada, yes I quite agree. But no amount of lessons will teach that girl to think before she acts. She has chaos in her blood -“

“Hecate, I can assure you that Mildred was simply doing what she thought right”.

“But one cannot simply step back in time on a whim and not expect the consequences, no matter how much one’s actions are well intended”. Finally Hecate reached out, her fingers grasping hold of Ada’s shoulder. When she next spoke her voice was low, throaty with the strain of holding back tears. “You could have so easily been stuck in the past, lost to the Mists of Time all because of one girl”.

“Ethel was there too, let’s not forget”.

“Listen to yourself!” Hecate’s voice warbled, fingers pressing into Ada’s shoulders as though her fingertips could make her see what her words could not. “Why do you refuse to see the seriousness of what happened? That you could have been lost forever to this school? To me”.

Suddenly, and feeling a fool for not having worked it out sooner, Ada knew what had hurt Hecate so deeply – and it seemed not to be her own fault, at least not entirely. 

“This isn’t about Mildred at all, is it?” Ada asked her softly as Hecate’s hands fell away from her shoulders, her whole body turning from Ada to instead look out of the window.

“Of course it’s not,” Hecate said quietly, voice catching on the lump in her throat. 

“Then tell me,” Ada stroked her hand down Hecate’s back, leaving it to settle tucked in the curve of her waist. “I’m here. I’m listening”. 

“When The Great Wizard was here, with Agatha posing as you, I thought that the worst of days had come. When you – when she – sent me away, I was bereft. It felt like you’d finally seen me and didn’t like what you saw, and I couldn’t blame you”.

Ada bit her lip, pressed her forehead against the ridge of Hecate’s shoulder but said nothing, no matter how much it hurt. 

“I thought that nothing could be as painful as that. But I was wrong”. Ada moved with the heavy, hitching breath Hecate took. “Because there is nothing more painful, more terrifying than waiting to forget you. It felt like I was suffocating, just waiting for history to change, for you to lead a different life or be stuck in the past and the worst part was knowing that I wouldn’t know the difference”. 

Hecate turned to her then, face crumpled and tears spilling fast down her cheeks. Her bottom lip wobbled. 

“Do you know how that feels? Did you think of that when you were there? Of how I was just stuck here, utterly and pathetically powerless – wondering which moment my history, our history, would change? Do you know how terrifying that is? To wait. To wait and see if the best part of me was going to be stolen away”. 

“Oh,” Ada pressed up onto her tiptoes as she cupped Hecate’s face in her hands, thumbs wiping away her tears. She could feel her own eyes welling up as she imagined just what Hecate had faced; being entirely alone yet surrounded by students who depended on her to be strong in the face of adversity. “Oh, Hecate, my love. I’m sorry”. 

“No, no,” Hecate protested as she leaned into the softness of Ada’s touch, eyes suddenly clearing as she realised what she’d just said. Ada could feel her shying away from her own words, as though ashamed but she let her be. She knew that Hecate had already said far more than she usually would and didn’t want to push her in case she was never so open again. “I should be the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have taken out my fears on you when I know that you’re just being exactly who you’ve always been; strong and brave and,” she threw her a watery smile, “frustratingly kind hearted”. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment, I think,” Ada chuckled, tracing her thumb over Hecate’s cheek, collecting the last of her tears as she went, before slipping her hand downwards to cup her jaw in the curve of her palm. Leaning forwards, still on tiptoes, Ada pressed their foreheads together. 

“Forgive me,” Hecate whispered as their noses brushed.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she promised her, thumb brushing along Hecate’s bottom lip. She watched as Hecate’s eyes fluttered shut at her touch, only briefly, but it was enough for Ada to realise they both wanted the same thing. 

No longer being able to resist the temptation of kissing Hecate, Ada curved her hand to draw around the back of Hecate’s neck, sighing as Hecate angled her head to press their lips together sweetly. She wanted nothing more than to kiss away the heartache of the day in the hope that it would be forgotten, but she knew the fear would linger for far longer than any kiss. Instead she settled for holding Hecate close, showing her that she was still very much the same woman that she had been the day before – hoping that her kiss would reassure her in ways words alone would not. 

Ada pressed the palm of her hand against Hecate’s lower back, urging them closer together until they were joined from breast, to hip, to thigh. As though something had suddenly sparked to life within her at the perfect press of their bodies, Hecate surged up against, cording her fingers through Ada’s hair before letting them cradle against the back of her head. Her other arm automatically wrapped around Ada’s waist, pulling her impossibly closer, fingers clutching at the wool of her jumper. The once docile relief that came with kissing Hecate turned into blazing heat, warmth pooling low and delicious in her belly as Hecate’s fingers skimmed up her body, trailing against the side of her breast. 

“Ada,” she murmured, the plea sweet on her tongue in the barest of moments where there lips parted.

Kissing her hungrily in promised answer, Ada walked them slowly backwards, occasionally sparing distracted glances thrown over Hecate’s shoulder to ensure they didn’t bump into anything, until finally she pressed her up against the wall. The moment Hecate’s back hit the wall, Ada moulded herself against her, felt every contour of Hecate’s body burn against her own. Gently she teased Hecate’s lips apart, slid her tongue against her own and was rewarded with a moan that reverberated loudly in the office; a sound that would forever send her pulse racing. Ada groaned herself at the sudden feel of Hecate’s fingers slipping beneath the hem of her jumper, hitching the material up and then untucking the thin vest beneath until chilled fingers glided over her stomach. Hecate’s palms slid over her hips, fingers spreading against her sides as she encouraged her silently forwards. 

As always it seemed as though Hecate was attuned to her, knowing her every thought, her every brazen desire, for she spread her legs just moments before Ada settled a knee between her thighs, whimpering as she pressed up against her. 

Tearing her lips away from Hecate’s, unwilling to muffle the glorious sounds she made, Ada trailed her kisses along her jaw and up to the tender spot beneath her ear, nipping at it before soothing it with her tongue. 

“I want you to know,” Ada whispered, her breath washing over Hecate’s sensitive skin, “that I truly believe, no matter if my past had changed - that I would find you”. She flicked her tongue against Hecate’s earlobe, eyelids fluttering as Hecate’s hips bowed to press against her own. “And I would love you, just the same. I am yours, Hecate Hardbroom - in any world, in any lifetime, with all that I am”. 

Hecate’s answer was a barely bitten back whimper, tears springing to her eyes once more as her arms looped around the bare skin of Ada’s waist. Just as it seemed that Hecate had pulled herself together enough to form some sort of coherent response, there was a timid knock at the door. 

“Miss Cackle?” 

Hecate’s eyes flew shut, her lips setting into a thin line. 

“That had better not be who I think it is,” she growled out, resting her head just briefly on Ada’s shoulder before they drew away from one another. 

“Just a moment, Mildred,” Ada called out as she smoothed the creases from her clothes, Hecate doing much the same. Their eyes met, and Ada offered her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. 

“It’s that wretched girl that will be sorry,” Hecate bit out, but the sparkle of her eyes belied her tone as she reached out and took Ada’s hand in her own. “I’ll see you later, yes?” Her voice was but a purr that did nothing to help Ada’s recovery. 

“Oh very definitely”. 

Ada winked at her before turning away to answer the door to what would undoubtedly be a guilty looking Mildred.

“And Ada,” she called softly, waiting for Ada to face her once more before she stumbled on, “I – I am yours in every way I know, and so many more”.

Ada’s face crumpled, touched at the way that Hecate always tried to be open for her. She knew perfectly well that they both displayed their love in different ways, where she was willing and vocal, Hecate was shy but adoring in their private moments; always contained as though afraid of the power of her own emotions.

Nodding gratefully, Ada quickly wiped away the stray tear that had fallen down her cheek before turning to the door, listening to the barely there crackle of Hecate’s magic as she transferred to her rooms. 

As she approached the door, she could only find herself hoping that Mildred hadn’t done anything too time consuming to put right – for all she wanted to do was fall back into the arms of her darling, her dearest, her Hecate.


End file.
